Tag Archives: Child

Helping Kids Be:

 

Most adults, at one point in their lives, have struggled with trying to figure out the purpose of their lives or have at least been conflicted about what they should do in certain situations.

Let uniqueness shine through!

Let uniqueness shine through!

Babies are all about exploration and no experience is censored; spreading their legs apart, sucking on their toes and farting with abandon! They are just trying to figure out what their bodies can and cannot do.  As they grow older they are more aware of what they do as well as that they can consciously control their body movements and what they want to accomplish.  Then we adults come in and qualify their movement, tell them what is good or bad or disgusting, “You should think this,” and “This is how you should handle yourself.”

We want to have civilized children and productive members of society, but we as parents often qualify our children’s action so much that they forget how to just be, be themselves, and have fun learning.

Next time, before you add your wisdom after witnessing a child do something: 

  •  Take a breath.
  •  Look around you.
  •  Think about what the child was trying to accomplish.
  •  If you need to, say something like:” I love seeing you dance like that” or “that is very creative.”

Letting our kids discover who they are without external judgment is a great way to make sure that the child will grow into a more self-assured adult.

Heidi Ahrens

Please email post any questions  and contact me for your Free consultation or copy of our e-Book.

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Big Girl, Little Girl

Language is a difficult topic to cover when thinking about parenting.  There are so many different ways our culture uses language, and many families have unique ways of communicating.  Most of us know to stay clear of sarcasm, condescending statements, and hurtful tones of voice, but how many of us have thought about the conflicting messages that we can send to our children?

What if we tell our children that they are unique and beautiful on the inside, yet we insist on having our kids leave the house looking a certain way each day?

Or if we talk about loving the planet, saving money, and recycling, but our favorite pastime is shopping?

Growing up so fast, no need to speed things up!

Growing up so fast, no need to speed things up!

A friend of mine has the wonderful ability of talking slowly and deliberately.  It is beautiful to watch. Yes, at times you want her to get to the point but each of her sentences are intentional and reflect her true thoughts.  I, on the other hand, talk and talk until I figure out my point while I talk.  I was named the ‘non-stop talker’ in Tibetan by a monk I was visiting in Spain.

Parents refer to their children as their babies. Then soon after they might say something like : “Be a big girl and go potty,” or “Be helpful to your mom,” or “Be a big boy and set this on the table.”  Then the same child will be told they are not old enough to do something or told: “You’re too little to stay up late.”

I found that it was helpful to look into my speech habits to see if I was contradicting myself. I have worked hard to teach my daughter to step away and calm herself before reacting by breathing and thinking of a way she can be positive towards an unexpected situation.  Yet I often react instantly to her actions or sibling disagreements. I’m working on taking my own advice to her, and trying to calm myself when my children present me with unexpected situations.

Does your language follow the values you instill in your children?

Do your values reflect the actions your children see you do everyday?

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Slowly becoming apparent.
Heidi Ahrens