Tag Archives: education

Connected Families:

When we talk about being mindful, we start with the breath and move on from there; towards eating mindfully, walking mindfully or driving with intention; listening to our hearts.

When we are parenting children, our hearts are often intertwined with the hearts of our kids as well as our spouses’ heart. Having different interests, needs and priorities gets amplified with the number of personalities that constitute ones family.

My first step towards being a connected parent is being sure that some of my desires are met. Yes, some not all. Since some of my needs are not aligned with the needs of my children or my spouse, I listen to my heart to find the ways that I can balance our needs daily, therefore simplifying our lives.

Hard to do?  Yes but possible!

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Helping Kids Be:

 

Most adults, at one point in their lives, have struggled with trying to figure out the purpose of their lives or have at least been conflicted about what they should do in certain situations.

Let uniqueness shine through!

Let uniqueness shine through!

Babies are all about exploration and no experience is censored; spreading their legs apart, sucking on their toes and farting with abandon! They are just trying to figure out what their bodies can and cannot do.  As they grow older they are more aware of what they do as well as that they can consciously control their body movements and what they want to accomplish.  Then we adults come in and qualify their movement, tell them what is good or bad or disgusting, “You should think this,” and “This is how you should handle yourself.”

We want to have civilized children and productive members of society, but we as parents often qualify our children’s action so much that they forget how to just be, be themselves, and have fun learning.

Next time, before you add your wisdom after witnessing a child do something: 

  •  Take a breath.
  •  Look around you.
  •  Think about what the child was trying to accomplish.
  •  If you need to, say something like:” I love seeing you dance like that” or “that is very creative.”

Letting our kids discover who they are without external judgment is a great way to make sure that the child will grow into a more self-assured adult.

Heidi Ahrens

Please email post any questions  and contact me for your Free consultation or copy of our e-Book.

Durga:

Have you ever looked at how little boys rough house?  They decide that a placid current of energy in the air is toxic, and they start pilling onto each other, growling, and after a bit of a tussle they are off playing again as gentlemen, just like (the Hindu deity) Durga and her mighty sword. She took the obstacles that were in her way and loved them to death or slashed their heads off.

A couple of years ago, I ran a play group once a week out of my home. A little boy with a French background and who was the same age as my daughter joined us every week. His full name translated  was “Throws a Rock.” This boy was raw, raw Durga.  My daughter was raw as well but raw with two feet still in the clouds.  Quite quickly this boy taught my daughter how to plant her feet and be a Durga.

Cultivate a little durga in your children

Cultivate a little durga in your children

They would play, he would get mad, she would get upset, he would plant his two feet in the ground bend his knees, growl, put his hands in front of his body, and plow and push.  She reciprocated and learned quickly how to move obstacles out of her way.  Both would get up happy after working out their tussles and keep sharing the sandbox.

I am not advocating teaching our kids to fight in the sandbox, but sometimes when we let our bodies and minds move obstacles we can learn and find our inner truth. That is one of the things I like so much about the ease that boys can get over a disagreement.

Today at yoga class the teacher asked us to do a dancing practice. We were to freely play within our sun salutations.  At one point she said that all our bodies ever want to do is play.

That exercise made me ask myself: when did I start using my body in a systematic way instead of letting myself play and explore?

My daughter can ski well. When she goes down a steep hill, we might ask her how did you do that? She says, “I just did it, I got to the top of the hill and I knew what to do.”

Yet we start teaching young children how to use their bodies – this is where you put your foot to kick the ball, this is what you do when you are frustrated, your arm goes here when you do the breast stroke, and slowly we teach them to stop playing and start doing actions that are linked to their thinking minds.

We end up modeling thinking that leads to moving, rather than teaching moving towards freedom and understanding the way fiery Durga moves through barriers – towards pure knowledge.

Our children are born with an innate understanding based in play, let’s not forget to support that.

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