Most adults, at one point in their lives, have struggled with trying to figure out the purpose of their lives or have at least been conflicted about what they should do in certain situations.
Let uniqueness shine through!
Babies are all about exploration and no experience is censored; spreading their legs apart, sucking on their toes and farting with abandon! They are just trying to figure out what their bodies can and cannot do. As they grow older they are more aware of what they do as well as that they can consciously control their body movements and what they want to accomplish. Then we adults come in and qualify their movement, tell them what is good or bad or disgusting, “You should think this,” and “This is how you should handle yourself.”
We want to have civilized children and productive members of society, but we as parents often qualify our children’s action so much that they forget how to just be, be themselves, and have fun learning.
Next time, before you add your wisdom after witnessing a child do something:
- Take a breath.
- Look around you.
- Think about what the child was trying to accomplish.
- If you need to, say something like:” I love seeing you dance like that” or “that is very creative.”
Letting our kids discover who they are without external judgment is a great way to make sure that the child will grow into a more self-assured adult.
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Posted in Blog
Tagged art, Child, Child Health, Children Youth and Family, creative, dance, education, family, health, Home, movement, parent, personality, physical, sports, unique
Once a week I am a dorm parent to eighteen teenage boys; it is a totally fascinating experience. I watch them navigate space with their bodies and their interactions are so awkward – full of uncertainty, strength and confusion.
When I feed my daughters everything is homemade, organic and nutritious. The boys know this (I think) since when I am in their space I read books like Mindful Birthing, The Birth Partner or I sit and crochet. They usually stay clear of me; just the way my brothers stay clear of me when I drink nursing tea.
Looking up to teenage spontaneity
A few weeks ago the boys were studying for exams, so I prepared 40 of those Pillsbury instant croissants and biscuits that come out of pop out tubes. I also had carrots, almonds and juice.
Well, Pillsbury doughy goodness brought all the boys to my feet. They congregated around the table, eating with abandon and joy. Seeing this level of sheer bliss reminded me that as parents we try to control everything. I wanted to feel this freedom they were experiencing from biting into something without thinking anything. I wanted to be able to just mindfully enjoying the flavor, texture and moment of filling my stomach without thinking about nutrition or the corporation that brought me the product.
So a week later I took a big step, I bought one of those Pillsbury croissant tubes and let it sit in my refrigerator. Then a week after that, once the girls were asleep, I baked the 8 croissants, sat in my bed and ate 4 of them. It was divine! I left the other 4 for my husband who was returning late from hockey and he agreed; they were divine.
Being around these boys on a weekly basis often teaches me about letting go, about just being our awkward selves. For the most part each one of these boys are very different from each other, yet they cohabitate at such a young age and are still accepting of each other (sort of!). I often want to scoop them up and bring them home. Make them my pet sons. I know this is not a possibility but at least I get to learn from them every Sunday evening.
Becoming a Parent-Heidi Ahrens
Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
Posted in Blog
Tagged children, coaching, cook, counseling, creativity, family, food, growing up, health, Home, nutrition, parent, parenthood, parenting, perspective, pregnancy, relationship, support, teenagers
Make it a good year! A year of…
It is up to you to fill in the blank.
On New Year’s Day I attended a wonderful workshop at True Nature it was a time to access yourself and invite in the new year. Rod Striker led us through a guided meditation, while Deva encouraged us to open up to a year of love.
In coaching, like in spiritual practice, or when a new year comes we are often asked to create an intention. Often these are so specific they are so easy to break, or unrealistic. ( No more ice cream or become a millionaire by fall).
Let your intentions transform your outward and inward self
When we look at our family life or our parenting style we can either break down our relationships to action and decision making, or we can look at the overall feeling of our presence around the ones we love: simple, loving, kind, accepting, conscious, and mindful. At times we realize that sometimes the essence of our parenting is not based in creativity – it can come from deep roots of fear, pain, uncertainty, frustration, or depression.
This year don’t dwell on the details or on the source of your family’s ills; rather, open yourself up to pure joyful discovering by inviting a year of … into your life!
Here are a few ideas, but I am sure you can come up with your own:
- A year of joy
- A year of curiosity
- A year of stillness
- A year of contemplation
- A year of adventure
- A beautiful year
- A creative year
- A year of happiness
- A year of silence
- A year of playfulness
- A year of simplicity
- A conscious year
Please let me know what you come up with. Have a well-thy 2013!
Becoming a Parent!
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Posted in Blog
Tagged childbirth, children, coaching, community, conscious, creativity, culture, family, goals, health, intention, kids, meditation, mental-health, mindfulness, new year, parent, parenting, play, pregnancy, resolution, simple, support, yoga