Tag Archives: kids

Durga:

Have you ever looked at how little boys rough house?  They decide that a placid current of energy in the air is toxic, and they start pilling onto each other, growling, and after a bit of a tussle they are off playing again as gentlemen, just like (the Hindu deity) Durga and her mighty sword. She took the obstacles that were in her way and loved them to death or slashed their heads off.

A couple of years ago, I ran a play group once a week out of my home. A little boy with a French background and who was the same age as my daughter joined us every week. His full name translated  was “Throws a Rock.” This boy was raw, raw Durga.  My daughter was raw as well but raw with two feet still in the clouds.  Quite quickly this boy taught my daughter how to plant her feet and be a Durga.

Cultivate a little durga in your children

Cultivate a little durga in your children

They would play, he would get mad, she would get upset, he would plant his two feet in the ground bend his knees, growl, put his hands in front of his body, and plow and push.  She reciprocated and learned quickly how to move obstacles out of her way.  Both would get up happy after working out their tussles and keep sharing the sandbox.

I am not advocating teaching our kids to fight in the sandbox, but sometimes when we let our bodies and minds move obstacles we can learn and find our inner truth. That is one of the things I like so much about the ease that boys can get over a disagreement.

Today at yoga class the teacher asked us to do a dancing practice. We were to freely play within our sun salutations.  At one point she said that all our bodies ever want to do is play.

That exercise made me ask myself: when did I start using my body in a systematic way instead of letting myself play and explore?

My daughter can ski well. When she goes down a steep hill, we might ask her how did you do that? She says, “I just did it, I got to the top of the hill and I knew what to do.”

Yet we start teaching young children how to use their bodies – this is where you put your foot to kick the ball, this is what you do when you are frustrated, your arm goes here when you do the breast stroke, and slowly we teach them to stop playing and start doing actions that are linked to their thinking minds.

We end up modeling thinking that leads to moving, rather than teaching moving towards freedom and understanding the way fiery Durga moves through barriers – towards pure knowledge.

Our children are born with an innate understanding based in play, let’s not forget to support that.

Time:

This is a short blog because it is about something we all hold so dear: time.

I am too busy
I have been so busy
I did not have the time
Where did it go?
Hold on a minute…
Maybe in an hour I will have time

Coney Island

We make our own time. We are the creator of our own time fillers.

When I think of some statements around time like “ I have been busy” or “ I had no time”, I realize that it really means that I did not make xyz a priority, or xyz was not something I wanted to do with my time. I know that often these honest answers would be hurtful to the person questioning me about my day, but most of the time I am very much in control of my day and fill them with things  that bring me happiness. Often, I can’t fill the day with all the things I would love to do, but I prioritize. This does not mean that I am unhappy with my busy life, it just means that I filled my time with things that bring me joy or closer to understanding.

Do you know of another way to say “I have been busy” or “I had no time” that does not carry the negative connotations of time wasted or stress?

What is your relationship with time?  Why are we so protective of our time? Why are we so busy, yet we want to have more time to do?

Becoming a Parent!

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Be the Person You are not!

OK! You are looking over your shoulder and thinking thoughts about that parent near the monkey bars. Filling your head with negative energy, you either criticize yourself or the parenting style being displayed.

We all have moments in which we think we shine as parents and others don’t; we also get really embarrassed by things we say to our kids or the way we act around them.

Take perspective!

Take perspective!

My challenge for you this week is to try out these two scenarios:

1) For one whole day act differently than you do on most days. If you are a sloppy parent that does not do dishes and leaves laundry piled around the house then clean-up and be orderly. If you are super neat and put together then go out in your sweat pants, don’t bother with a home cooked meal and don’t clean the toilet. You get the idea…

2) On another day try being the super involved parent; play Legos all day, pretend to drink tea and flutter like a fairy. If you are already that parent, drag your child to the nearest coffee shop, get a coffee, go shopping and complete your to-do list.

Remember to reflect after each exercise and see what the positive outcomes are of acting differently than you normally do and how it feels to get back to your old self.

Become apparent!

Food for thought:
How do you think your child feels when you ask them to act differently than they are?
What do your children learn when they see you talking positively or negatively about others?
Can your child learn from you stepping out of your ‘regular’ self?

We would love to work with you one on one. Please email us with any questions heidiahrens@me.com

Year of Love – 2013

 Make it a good year!  A year of…

 It is up to you to fill in the blank.

On New Year’s Day I attended a wonderful workshop at True Nature it was a time to access yourself and invite in the new year.  Rod Striker led us through a guided meditation, while Deva  encouraged us to open up to a year of love.

 In coaching, like in spiritual practice, or when a new year comes we are often asked to create an intention. Often these are so specific they are so easy to break, or unrealistic. ( No more ice cream or become a millionaire by fall).

Let your intentions transform your outward and inward self

Let your intentions transform your outward and inward self

 When we look at our family life or our parenting style we can either break down our relationships to action and decision making, or we can look at the overall feeling of our presence around the ones we love: simple, loving, kind, accepting, conscious, and mindful.  At times we realize that sometimes the essence of our parenting is not based in creativity – it can come from deep roots of fear, pain, uncertainty, frustration, or depression.

 This year don’t dwell on the details or on the source of your family’s ills; rather, open yourself up to pure joyful discovering by inviting a year of … into your life!

Here are a few ideas, but I am sure you can come up with your own:

  • A year of joy
  • A year of curiosity
  • A year of stillness
  • A year of contemplation
  • A year of adventure
  • A beautiful year
  • A creative year
  • A year of happiness
  • A year of silence
  • A year of playfulness
  • A year of simplicity
  • A conscious year

 Please let me know what you come up with.  Have a well-thy 2013!

 Heidi Ahrens

Becoming a Parent!

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A free consultation is as good as cake

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